I have daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, and quarterly tasks, including both home and car maintenance. I put them on my calendar so I don’t lose track. Especially when I’m traveling a lot for work, “when was the last time I washed my bedsheets?!?”

Cleaning the kitchen is the thing I keep on top of best because I want my food to be clean and safe and for cooking to be enjoyable.

Compared to some I have dated, I have some personal standards that are higher. I think I’m pretty good at recognizing that though and dialing back to a compromise when appropriate. But I also draw lines where I have to. Someone bringing their cat into the equation; they must be 100% responsible for their cat and they must take good care of it. Someone who lets litter age, or lets cat vomit sit for any period of time after discovery, or doesn’t vacuum hair and litter dust up at a high frequency I find acceptable is a no. Just no. We’re not compatible and that sort of mismatch does not get better with time. Even if we haven’t moved in together and I’m just visiting their place, that’s something that will strongly sway me towards breaking up.

I have broken up with one person due to mismatch in our cleaning expectations. It happened well before there were conversations about moving in together. Conversations leading up to it were cordial, open, and without blame. As far as breakups go, not a bad one from my perspective.