I love using Consoomer, as recent as a while ago. This is the perfect term to describe people who spend their every waking minute, feeling like they’ve got to go buy things. It isn’t because they’re buying to survive or sustain. They’re buying just to consoom. Cattle with wallets as I’ve called them.
I also like Coomer, because it makes fun of people who’re obsessed with jacking off and pornography in unhealthy ways.
As a person who occasionally makes confessional asides “to the camera” I find it amusing to rhetorically ask “Chat” about things. “Ugh, I don’t wanna cook tonight. How about it Chat, we ordering pizza?”