I break almost every stereotype from my country of origin… I’m quiet, on time (much to the dismay of people who give me a time 1hr before they actually expect me), and can’t grow a thick/full beard to save my life.

Being an engineer is pretty stereotypical, although that’s true for a ton of Asians, so not awfully specific.

I guess… speaking strictly in silly technicalities here, then the stereotype I “fit” is “terrorist” (on the basis that people where I live – the UK – are getting arrested and charged with terrorism for expressing support for Palestine/criticising the genocide.) Obviously, I’m being facetious here, but we live in an insane world.

For context, I’ve lived my whole life as a ‘displaced person’ / immigrant without a permanent home, so I don’t feel that there is one place that has particularly shaped me or my personality.

Any guesses for where I’m “originally” from?

Edit: I’d actually never heard that stereotype about Filipinas! The only one I know (applies to all genders) is that you guys are incredible singers. :)

I don’t feel like I can give you literal conversation starters that aren’t super boring or generic (like chats about the weather), without way more context than is possible to obtain at this stage.

But, one thing that did help me strike conversations and eventually friendships with people, was just hanging around campus doing stuff that piqued other people’s interest.

A couple of times it was me playing on my Nintendo 3DS between lectures, and once someone even came up to me to compliment my Sony Discman.

Other times it might be something as simple as there not being any empty tables in the cafeteria, so you ask to sit with someone. If they’re not clearly busy or studying, you might start by asking what course they do, how they’re finding it, etc. These are all fairly passive approaches though, and that’s possibly related to my extreme introversion.

A slightly more active suggestion – take advantage of group assignments! (As much as I hate them.) Make plans to meet up. Get a few hours of work done together then hang out with a few beers or a soda or whatever. Win-win.

Tyvm!

Thank you!

Thanks!

My instance does replace slurs with ‘removed’ though

This shows up as fiddlrts.removed on my Lemmy instance. Does the top level domain coincidentally include a slur? :p

Disturbingly similar to my employer.

Nothing to worry about whatsoever. My high school cohort and I ended up all over the world - some in countries with 3 year programmes, others in countries with 4 year programmes, others who dropped out or changed fields and started over.

I promise you that it does not matter. What matters is that you achieve your own goal of getting a bachelor’s, at your pace. :)

Were you raised Muslim? (Not coming from a xenophobic PoV; I myself was raised Muslim)

I feel left out, not even a spam bot wants me :(

This is so relatable that it hurts, actually.

I’m using Memmy right now and honestly had no clue that it’s dead!

Yes, this. This particular comment best summarises how I feel about the topic.

You already know this, but I’ll reiterate it in case it helps you get over whatever guilt you might be feeling about it: you can’t. If you have already offered them a non-judgemental space to vent and have expressed that you’re there for them, then you have already done more than any friend should be expected to.

You say “it doesn’t rest in [your] hands alone”; it doesn’t rest in your hands at all! Your desire to save your friend is very admirable but it also sounds like it could be self-sabotaging to some extent.

“Rehab doesn’t work” is a blanket and not entirely true statement. There are a million different pathways to recovery; not every programme works for every person. Maybe try to explain this to them.

Beyond that, the best thing you can do for them right now is to disengage and remain distant. You don’t deserve to have their pains inflicted on you too.

P.S. I am speaking as a recovering addict. One of the things my recovery has taught me is how much of a burden being an addict is to other people. The thought of a relapse hurting my friends disturbs me. Your friend might resent you for turning them away, but when they do start recovery, they will not only understand why; they’ll appreciate it too.

Ah yes, everybody has that one drawer to keep pies in.

My gf and I are poly. She has a gf. It doesn’t bother me at all. You should talk to your husband; his resentment isn’t necessary. It sounds like everyone (your daughter, her bf, his gf) are all aware of the situation and consenting. What’s the issue?