It’s mostly women who enforce this behavior, not men. If you want to call that patriarchy, I think you’re applying the term a little too broadly

Ok but that’s like, almost every woman. It’s not just the occasional shithead, it’s a systemic thing.

No, you’re right, I was looking at another comment and thought it was by the same person.

A few answers so far:

• If I cry in public people will ask if I’m okay

• I can ask for help with heavy/awkward things

• I can just hand a meat cleaver to my friend in a public library and no one will be freaked out

It’s not shocking that a woman wouldn’t want to be called a girl. It’s shocking that this particular woman claims to speak for all womankind. Fuck that noise, I know plenty of women who say “girls” and “boys” to refer to females and males of all ages.

Speak for yourself lol

Women are not a monolith

Silly void feets!

Cutest little perv

I love parrot cats

The 80s were a magical time

BECAUSE ONE AIN’T ENOUGH AND TWO IS TOO LOW!

I occasionally on long drives will queue up the full playlist of The Deb of Night and treat it as real radio.

You can call them out when you see it. This helps the community, but makes your personal experience worse because you’re always fighting.

“I’m sure it exists, I just blocked it because I personally don’t like it” - everyone on lemmy

Communities outside of tech and politics are very very small and slow. Especially anything NSFW. There’s a lot of prudish and ace people in the current crop of lemmy users.

All the small time local politicians from the town hall are also there, and they are fucking STOKED, and they RECOGNIZE YOU. It’s an incredible energy.

I wanna play in the idiot sandbox and make idiot sandcastles😭

It’s tiny though compared to lemmy, so it doesn’t pop up organically (heh) on my feed.

Block those who are toxic and your problem slowly but steadily solves by itself.

For me personally, yes. But it makes the overall site worse. Like a tragedy of the commons almost.

Personally, I desperately want more normal people on lemmy. There’s a disproportionate number of truly toxic people on here who love preaching about their particular fixation, usually political, usually far leftist (compared to the world at large). If I see a discussion about the best car to buy, I don’t want it dominated by a bunch of “cars suck!!” comments. If someone asks a question about an issue with Windows, I don’t need to see nothing but Linux evangelism. All of those viewpoints are fine, but in moderation and without vitriol.

I definitely want communities of people like that. When I buy a new laptop, I’ll probably put Linux on it and I’d love some advice. Sometimes I like having brainstorming sessions about the best way to promote public transit. I often enjoy arguing politics. But not everything has to be a crusade.

And for the love of Christ, I want more NSFW topics. Dating, sex, porn.