If your piss is blue or purple, you probably have porphyria. It also means you need to go see a doctor.

The first thing I’ll say is to consider putting it off until you’re older.

That being said, if you don’t know anyone who smokes, you might find it difficult to get some yourself. Your best bet would be to make friends who already have those connections. Many dealers won’t respond if you can’t name a customer that referred you. That might be the biggest hurdle to start with if you aren’t willing to start conversations. Ask classmates about the stoners around school if you can’t think of anyone.

If you manage to make those friends who connect you, though, the actual exchange with a dealer is usually pretty chill. You meet at an agreed upon spot (perhaps a park or something, maybe their house, etc.), and you hand over the money and they hand over the weed. Then you go home. You can show up with a friend if you want, but it’s best practice to let the dealer know that before you show up. A first text might go something like, “Hey, my name is ___. Would it be cool if I bought a dime ($10 worth, often 1 gram)/dub ($20)? I got your number from ___. Would you be down to meet sometime soon?” Some more advanced dealers will offer things like dab cartridges and edibles. Weed smells, and so does paraphernalia, so be sure to keep it in an air-tight container. Don’t front money for drugs, ever. Also, be sure not to let it become too much of a habit. Limit yourself to a couple times a month, or only the weekends, etc.

A marijuana high lasts about 2-3 hours, so if you know you’ll have much more time than that, you’ll be ok. You can also go out to meet up with a friend for awhile, then both go to smoke elsewhere if their house isn’t an option. Most high-schoolers find a nearby, secluded place in some forested area to smoke in, at least where I live. Walking there and back (even while baked) is usually no big deal, unless it’s super far or something. If you don’t have a place like that nearby, any other little hidden spots you can find will probably do if they aren’t too high-key. Just be sure to clean up after yourself. Pack it in, pack it out. You might be able to smoke outside your house after your parents go to bed if you can manage your coughing. If you’re worried about the smell after smoking, smoke outside, change your clothes/put on a top layer first, and brush your teeth.

As for how to smoke, you have some options. Probably the cheapest, easiest, most concealable option would be a small pipe (I’d recommend glass). You can find cheap ones online that can be delivered to your door on websites like dhgate, if you aren’t worried about your parents opening your mail for you. There’s also bongs, joints, and vapes, which each have their own pros and cons. I’m sure there’s a million youtube tutorials for each of those options. When smoking, I think the key is to inhale properly and deeply, which may be difficult starting out. You often hear that people can’t get high their first time smoking weed, but I think this is due to improper smoking technique. I know my first time I definitely wasn’t doing it right.

War of the Worlds was written by H.G. Wells, not Orson Welles. Orson did, however, do that famous radio performance of War of the Worlds in the 30s that ostensibly (but probably not actually according to more modern analysis) caused widespread panic among its listeners.

I always get these two and George Orwell confused. On top of the somewhat similar names, the fact that Orson Welles/H.G. Wells both have that War of the Worlds connection and H.G. Wells/George Orwell both being famous authors doesn’t help, either.

I also want to add that evolution is a species-wide phenomenon over hundreds or thousands of generations, it’s not done individually.

Wow, what a thorough answer, thank you! The summation was almost poetic, in a beautiful and somewhat horrifying way. The whole system laid out like that almost seems a bit dark and dystopian in kind of an indescribable way. It sounds like a sentient, Lovecraftian rat’s-nest of wires running the whole world.

Those fabrics are made of plastic, which is derived from oil, which forms over long periods of time from buried decaying plant and animal matter. 70% of the Earth’s oil is from the Mesozoic Era, which encompassed the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous Periods, so formed during a time when dinosaurs lived and jokes about oil being made of dinosaurs are common. Oil is actually made of plankton rather than dinosaurs, though.

Yeah, that seems to align nicely with the instincts I outlined in my comment. No need to apologize. Thanks!

From what I googled, it’s especially bad when you pair “man” and “female” together, which makes sense to me.

No stupid questions time: This kind of lurks in the back of my mind and I sometimes find myself hesitating to use the term “female” to refer to female figures in any context. I don’t have to do that, right? Like, would “woman lawyer” be better than “female lawyer” in contexts where specifying gender might be relevant? I would conversely prefer the term “male lawyer” in the same context and “man lawyer” sounds just as odd to me as “woman lawyer”. “Lawyer who is a woman” is a little verbose, too. Am I overthinking this?

My thoughts exactly; I realized that after posting my comment, too. All it would take is for mom to put two-and-two together with the circumstances to get suspicious. It’s possible there are other relatives with keys, though. It’s also possible there isn’t any footage available of the actual entering of the property. Still pretty screwed unless everyone else is as dumb as he is. Cops will probably have asked the aunt if anyone else has a key or otherwise had free access, since there’d be no sign of forced entry, which would greatly narrow down suspects no matter how many relatives had keys. If her nephew happens to appear on camera nearby right around when the robbery could have occurred, and he’s not routinely seen walking around the neighborhood, that’s not a good look. It’s still circumstantial, though. With 4chan in mind again, he probably does still live with his mom and has the stolen stuff in his closet or under his bed or something. Even if he doesn’t still live with her, I bet his mom could still make an excuse to visit his place to look around. Then he’s really cooked once she finds the stuff. It’s probably only a matter of time before it all blows up in his face. Something tells me OOP isn’t exactly a criminal mastermind.

Gotta be drugs, right? I can’t think of many other things that might lead someone to steal from their own relatives. Not good at all, but at least he could blame addiction. With 4chan in mind, though, I shudder to think that they might have robbed their aunt just to get enough money to buy some stupid hobby/collector’s item. What’s his plan now, though? Still no cash in hand. He could try selling them anonymously on craigslist, but it’s risky keeping the stolen goods on you and he probably doesn’t know any fences. Fortunately for OOP, cops don’t give a shit about houses getting robbed and aren’t going to follow-up on it by tracking down and seeing in person all the possible listings. Their aunt will never hear back from those cops. OOP just better hope his aunt doesn’t see any of that footage herself and recognize him.

4% of a fart is oxygen, according to the article, which is enough to react with all of the hydrogen-sulfide, since 1 mole of oxygen is enough to react with more than 1 mole of hydrogen-sulfide (H₂S makes up around 1% of the total volume).

TL;DR: No. The half-life of hydrogen-sulfide (one of smelliest constituents of a fart) reacting with the oxygen in the jar from just your fart is 12-37 hours. The article gives an example of a particularly potent hypothetical fart that would only retain any distinguishable odor for 9 days tops.

It already exists as the intro to one of the maps in Nazi Zombies in COD: Black Ops

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zv61MWfg20&pp=ygUPamZrIGNvZCB6b21iaWVz

Not too far from the one I came up with:

Show me your feet, boys

And taste my soles

Treat my toes like a tootsie roll and lick away

Indeed, Chinese cops laid siege to various universities during the Hong Kong protests, which were strongholds of opposition and organization, just like American universities have also been under siege at times for the same reasons regarding their Palestine protests. Cops never change and they’ll always have the cop mindset, though I will say that American cops seem to be especially trigger-happy. From what I see, cops in most other countries are able to neutralize threats with non-lethal force most of the time. I never hear about German cops, who I believe also carry guns, shooting someone’s dog or unloading into a guy failing to follow conflicting instructions being shouted at him. I can’t claim to know much about German cops, though. Maybe someone with more knowledge could fill me in.

The Hong Kong protests, though… I’m not saying that’s worse than American police, but I have little reason to believe they’d be much better, either. Your experience may not reflect the whole truth.

Seth hasn’t been writing for Family Guy since like 2006

I’m pretty sure it depends on the state and whether or not that state considers a horse to be a vehicle/device. Alabama, for example, I believe does not consider a horse to be either, while I think California does. There’s this story that sometimes gets submitted to TIL-type communities where a man from Louisiana was decided to be ineligible for a DUI charge after doing exactly that, but he was still given a court summons for “disturbing the peace by intoxication”.

Honestly, maybe not the easiest concept for Disney to pull off when more than a hundred of their films (a little over half) have a main character with one or both parents dead or missing. Even with just the ones on the box, Ariel’s mom is dead, Max’s mom is dead, Tiana’s dad dies off-camera during the movie, and we all know what happens to Mufasa.