• 1 Post
  • 96 Comments
Joined 7 months ago
Cake day: May 11th, 2025
  • PalimpsestNavigator@midwest.socialtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•negative rizz
    38·
    7 months ago

    I’ll never understand people begging to stylishly go to prison. Who are these plastic, dead-eyed posers? How is anyone this disconnected from the concept of stealth wealth?

    After cutting my teeth in the business world, I’ve seen people hide away money they have no right to. They take their families on extended sailing trips. They attend parties where everyone else is also wearing many thousands of dollars. Their cars are old models with aftermarket replacement parts that run like a dream. They have vacation homes in places where filming is discouraged. They don’t buy their business partners gaudy gifts like they’re courting a royal marriage.

    It’s not acceptable to evade taxes and hoard money (my money no longer allows deals with such people), but if you’re going to do all that nonsense why choose to go tell on yourself?

  • PalimpsestNavigator@midwest.socialOPtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•Are you banned from somewhere fun (casino, theme park, resort, cruise, etc)?
    51·
    7 months ago

    I’ll do my best to give a brief answer. Please know that I’m not your legal council, and my advice is limited to my experience (which may be different from your own).

    If you have a DUI from 10+ years ago, it is possible that your inimitability has been automatically lifted. If your DUI was more than 5+ years ago, you are eligible for a few methods of entry into Canada. You can apply for a “temporary residence permit”, which is as complicated as it sounds with forms and statements and an approval process. Another route is what Canada calls “criminal rehabilitation”, which is an evaluation process that unflags your ID and makes you indistinguishable from any other American.

    Keep in mind that the Canadian border is managed by people who want a smooth workday. Unless you give them a good reason, they’ll at least be disappointed to reject your admission. More than likely, they would have information to help you get certified to cross. That being said, if you have a strong history of DUI and show up at the border in a MAGA truck with a shitty disposition and no preparation whatsoever… they might unceremoniously tell you to have more respect for Canada (and the world, with your Republican jihad).

    Certain things may help you at the border. A license plate and residence in a northern border state might put you in an easy pass category. Preparedness goes a LONG way, even if you don’t have the latest trend in legal passes you are still dealing with human beings. Because we’re dealing with human beings, it deserves to be said that we’re in a colorized world and Canadians are just as prone to colorism when choosing who to admit. I recommend keeping this in mind if you aren’t privileged to pass in daily life, because you do still need to be extra extra ready to present yourself, my friends.

    Above all, after you get into Canada it is important to respect the road and avoid driving under the influence. Not only is this where your head should be at, but it is also the best way to ensure a continuation of the good relationship between yourself and Canada (and the United States with her closest sister, Canada). An incident in-country will result in penalties that could last a lifetime, and for good reason; you might get expelled, or you might become a resident of Canada’s legal system for a very long time. To say it plainly, if you act a fool on Canada’s roads you might see the same 10x5 patch of Canadian prison concrete for the next decade.

    Okay… that’s all I got.