Miles O'Brien

This is why there are varying carrots in my stew.

Some go in early to get that carrot flavor in the stock, which I like, but that makes them mushy and gross.

So I usually try and get the first carrots out before the potatoes go in, and then it’s kind of a guess on my end when to put more carrots in so they’re nicely cooked but not overdone.

In real life:

Staring out of my apartment window

see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street

do nothing because I don’t give a shit

keep staring out of my apartment window

My sense of humor tends to skew towards absurdism the closer to midnight it gets.

Shit posts make me giggle. I show her and she’s just confused.

It really doesn’t help when half the shitposts are star trek related.

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nearly kills her

Based on the picture of the broken square section, I think that might be a bit of a stretch…

But “person avoids injury at final destination screening” doesn’t have that same allure.

Ohio resident for grade school, they did it at 4 different school districts across every grade.

Can’t speak for anyone else.

Or teacher didn’t even see this, handed it to a high school student and said “grade this stack of papers”

I had that happen several times in science classes in 3rd-8th grade. Eventually I started arguing with the teachers in class, and boy did they not like being corrected.

Sorry Ms Avery, you not knowing that “Pb” is the abbreviation of the Latin word “plumbum”, where we also get “plumbing” from due to its use in piping in rome, doesn’t mean I got the answer wrong. To her credit, she looked it up and changed my grade before the end of class.

Ms hoschouli from 7th grade can get fucked though, a parallel circuit increases amperage load, not voltage load. I knew more about electronics in 7th grade than a college graduate who teaches science class, which in hindsight isn’t that impressive considering it was general science and not electronics specific… But in 7th grade, as far as I was concerned I was hot shit for knowing more than the teacher, and getting detention for calling her out in the middle of class. Never got the grade changed and I only got out of detention because my parents called the school.

I once got in trouble with my math teacher for saying “well if we’re just making things up, then sure [I cheated on a math test while sitting in the front of class where the teacher can see but I was using some kind of hidden code on my t-shirt that was a bunch of Shakespearean insults] . But what about all that Crack you were doing in your car this morning?”

Apparently my "making things up"was a slightly more serious than his. I stand by it. If we’re making shit up, we’re making shit up.

For the record, this geometry teacher was convinced I was cheating in class because I didn’t do homework. Homework was 5% of the final grade for the year according to his syllabus, I hated homework, so I figured as long as I didn’t suck at the rest of the class, I could do 0 homework and pass. I was right, passed with a 94%

Joke’s on you I’m going to send this to my wife knowing fully well that she’s going to want garlic bread.

Homemade Alfredo, here we come!

Poor genie didn’t realize you were hitting on them and just wanted to ride their massive cock.

I’ve summoned a demon, AND been to MULTIPLE hells.

LPT: don’t summon a demon if you aren’t certain you can control it.

Imagine if you had one of the greatest piano players in history offering to play you something, and you ask him to play the opening bars of “Heart and Soul”, three times in a row.

Yes, they could do it, and do it perfectly… But why would they want to do that when Claire De Lune or Für Elise exist. And yes, those are still fairly basic in the grand scheme of things but heart and soul is boring AF.

That’s the point.

Set the bar low, but just high enough that tons of people still trip over it.

Sit back and enjoy the comment wars.

The people who are confident but wrong are too proud to admit they were wrong even if they realize it, and comment angrily.

The people who are right and know why, comment for corrections and some to show off how S-M-R-T they are.

The people who are wrong but willing to accept that just have their realization and probably don’t think about it again. So do the people who don’t know and/or care.

But those first two groups will keep the post going in both shares and comments, because “look at all these wrong people”

It’s all designed to boost engagement.

doesn’t work out

Hot damn, what an absolute piece of shit garbage human being.

The Game (which you just lost)

goddamn it I just lost the game…

DO NOT start chainsaw between legs

That’s fair.

I mean, the reason I have a picture should be obvious, I’m literally going for visibility with a name like this…

But 9/10 times it’s a generic name with a default or no picture.

It’s a good thing those torches are still burning after thousands of years, otherwise you would have needed a flashlight!

A judge would sign a search warrant because a cop pinky swears the target is a black ms13 Muslim antifa commiesocialmarxist.