When I’m dragged across an array of sharp raised metal bumps on a plane until there’s a pile of me in strips and chunks on the plate below.

No, wait, that’s the grate-ist feeling, sorry.

Take them anyway, I really don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of rapture reject crybabies. Burn me in hell forever, see if I give a shit, but don’t make me listen to them whine about it.

If I were in their position (and an {even bigger} asshole but that’s implied), my plan would involve claiming partial credit for defeating [Losing_Candidate]. When the new POTUS does things I don’t like, I can also get all sanctimonious and preachy about not having voted for them so my hands are clean. Best of both worlds.

You just put a jack under one end of the building, lift it up and let them roll out the other side. Easy peasy.

Assume a spherical child in a frictionless vacuum.

Have you asked these colleagues what they’re hoping to gain from those certs to see why they think they’re worthwhile? Might just be people looking for a little variety in the work day if it’s something they can do on company time.

Outside, not my area of expertise.

Just waiting for a sussy baka with the requisite rizz to guide us on the path to skibidi fleekness. Poggers?

I think they’re referred to as sex workers now but agreed.

Second favorite server after the Discord with leaked classified documents.

Probably the year before it was truncated so they can get into more search results. Something like “best 2020 party ideas” (without quotes) might do it.

And almost a full set of teeth between them.

I’m not entirely convinced that we need one Dakota, let alone two.

That’s because it’s a heart beet.

Get the comms up and running so you can set records for “first [insert activity here] in space” and report your results for the history/trivia books.

A wild backhoe appears!

Tickling Strangers’ Anuses.

Suits heard about this secret sauce called AI that can cut down on the need for those pesky humans that are always looking for handouts and luxuries like a living wage and benefits. The consumer will have to accept it when the only choices they’re offered are varying flavors of the same shit.

I appreciate your input on his output, Dr. Butts.

They might roll him out on a wheelchair and wipe away the fluids dribbling out of his ends but “run” is not a word I would use.