Ahh man all I got was a disabled mom and prison dad.

Think I can trade him for a rich dad to a rich person who wants to claim they had a rough child hood?

I remember 14 years ago in high school I was kicking around the idea of becoming a court reporter (type out everything said in court) , but was told “nooo look at Siri, that’ll totally replace all that soon!”

No, no it’s not. We don’t want things like that making choices like that.

Also was told “C and C++ is too old, learn something newer”

People get too excited about new tech, not thinking about why the old tech stands the test of time.

Ooh and how many women apparently wear the HIGHEST quality water proof make up at all times!

Realistic hacking scenes would be funny.

“Okay I’m in”

“Wait… how?”

“Oh I figured out the default passwords and naming conventions for new employees awhile ago.”

Funnily enough I got my college to change password policies because for a report for one of my classes I wrote about how stupid it was that all new users passwords were First intial + last initial + last four of social security number, with usernames being firstname + lastname + year. Since they had no max number of attempts on logins, and didn’t prompt you to change password on logging in, it took a few minutes to get into anyone’s account once you knew their name. (That school was very incompetent, and they are closed now)

OR

“Give me 20 minutes, I’m on hold with IT. They’ll reset the password and tell me it if I give them an employee ID, dob, and name. Which I see clearly on this guys facebook picture where he has his badge visibile.”

Or a hacking guy trying to brute force for days. Then the “no nonsense” guy goes out for 20 minutes, and comes back with it and refused to answer questions. Oh wait… that’s just XKCD.

Hehe that scene was the one that made me think of this post.

NCIS should just dive into self parody at this point.

Seeing a movie where they flip in a practice dummy and actually make me feel like they broke ribs to make it happen would be legit.

If the ribs aren’t bending, ain’t no way the heart is pumping!

Also having the CRP patient be absolutely trashed afterwards. If you’re getting CPR, it’s cause you dead, and they are trying to bring you back to life by beating life back into you. You were dead, then got probably the most painful beating of your life. The rest of the movie should be you recovering in a hospital.

I’m not even a chef but they’ll also turn in a full kitchen without regard sometimes.

If you’re turning, you keep that garbage pointed NOT where you are turning.

Ahh so when they have like inconsistent durability?

One scene the super hero slams through walls.

Next scene, they trip and get injured.

I wonder if movies is why people seem to scoff at my mom’s allergies. She is “deathly” allergic to Cilantro and Coriander, so more than once people told her stuff like “Don’t worry just eat around it” or “we’ll put it on the side”

MAM. Her throat is closing, we are sticking an epi pen, and heading to the hospital if any gets in her mouth. If you can’t accommodate her, let her know and we will leave. But it’s severe enough that if a lot of fresh cilantro is being used, she has to leave or she’ll start having symptoms. Basically if you can clearly smell cilantro, then enough is in the air that she’s going to start coughing and wheezing and normally takes 2-3 days of her feeling garbage. Same exact case for my sister who is deathly allergic to red onions.

I never understood why some people think so little of “My throat will close if I eat this thing”, but maybe it’s TV where they treat it like lactose intolerance, where it’s fine if you just take the meds with it?

IDK man, but it’s tilting.

They wanted to hack faster, so they both started typing at once!

https://tenor.com/view/double-keyboard-ncis-gif-14884655

The logic in that TV show would be parody if all they did was have a single character look super confused whenever one of their pseudoscientific plans work flawlessly and is held up in court.

I’m just the ultimate Lemmy Meme lord!

My most upvoted one is this one though:

https://lemmy.world/post/19883899

But yeah it’s always cool when we get so much engagement and every comment is actually unique and not a report bot!

“Or any monster chase or fight. If a giant monster chases you it’s faster and instant-kills you. But not in movies.”

Monster: struggles to catch a running humans

Monster in next scene: catching up with a car pretty easily

Speed always kills me in things.

Plot twist= It started at 8PM and ended at 3 pm.

That always killed me! Like… bro, a soft breeze should take him out. He’s not ready to be a villain, he’s ready to spend 5+ years in rehab.

I’d love if in one of those shows it’s just implied lightly throughout the entire thing that they are squatting in the home of someone who died and the city never noticed or something stupid like that XD

Sooo my room mate invited me to play Total War Warhammer 2 with him (RTS game based on fantasy warhammer). It was his all time favorite game, and I had played it a bit. Think 2k hours for him, 100ish for me. But I had mostly been playing the Vampire Counts, and he jumped around a lot, mostly playing the Empire as he loved their lore and how they played. Him picking the empire was kind of a dick move because they spawned very close to vampire counts, so odds were he was going to crush me mid game.

But the thing is, he had mostly played against AI, and he had never played AS the vampire counts. If you ever play as the vampire counts in that game, you quickly realize there is only one good strategy, one that the AI never uses. You can get completely free skeleton soldiers. The game normally hard caps you with negatives around 2k soldiers (2-3 full armies). They aren’t great soldiers, but you can do upgrades for them to make them acceptable, and they mostly will function as meat sponges to bog down enemies while your generals do most of the killing. It’s not something I looked up, it’s just super obvious when you play as them that there is no purpose to any other units.

On turn 25 he thought something was wrong when he saw 5 armies attack a neighbor of his. He knew something was terribly wrong when 10 entered his territory at a point in the game when he had 2 1/2. There was shouting, there were accusations, there was mad giggling. As my room mate was thrusted full force into the zombie apocalypse. His soldiers killed thousands of skeletons, early game heavy infantry backed by mortars and arbalesters. The K/D was terrible for me. He had been focusing on building the bones of an unstoppable late gate death ball of heavy infantry and artillery, so his units were strong. But it still needed 30 turns to be invincible. But I kept winning, because his units ran out of bullets and mortar shells before I ran out of skeletons.

Then the fun thing about Vampire counts is, if you win a MASSIVE battle with tens of thousands of deaths… you can instantly recruit skeletons from that grave site! With each battle my army replenished, my generals grew more powerful, and he grew more annoyed.

After another bloody defeat of his final army, killing like 7k skeletons just to see mine raise from the dead, and his capital under siege, he resigned.

Despite his thousands of hours he said it was equally the most fun and most tilting game ever. But I just felt like I was playing lore accurate necromancers :D But when he was like “You must be cheating the game must stop this some how” and I’m just like… nah fam, game busted. I did feel a little bad. Then went back to giggling when he insisted he could win and then all his units ran out of ammo again.

I’ve had maybe 3 phones in last 10 years?

Not a bad strat!

… So am I the only one that whenever I want a new phone, I just look for highest rated phone under 100 dollars? Been doing that for years, generally it’s just always just like top of the line models from 3-4 years ago.

Been doing it for years and I’ve never really had any complaint with my phones.

Sadly, plenty do now days.

We need more riots.