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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • We were taking a walk by the sea on a cold-ish winter night. Some stupid teens got up on the walls at the edge of the quay and started posing for photos and shit. Just as one of them was in the middle of yelling to her friends something about how not-scary it was up on that wall, two of them lost their balance and fell in the water. It was a big splash. I mean it was not good for those two kids of course, but the timing could not have been more hilariously perfect.



  • It is true that it was a Turk that marketed it as such, but it’s mostly the Germans that are so insistent on claiming it’s a German invention. The only Turks I’ve seen that weren’t largely indifferent were those who made and sold the stuff, but even the non-döner-worker Germans can be weirdly militant about it especially after a few drinks.

    In any case, why it was named that is irrelevant to the point. Which is that we’re being pedantic in this thread and, strictly speaking, the name is wrong. It is in gross violation of the unwritten döner naming conventions. But obviously I’m not holding my breath for any official rebranding.


  • Germany did not invent döner kebap and it’s insane that they claim that. Anyone who insists on it displays a tragic lack of understanding about what a kebab even is and should be ashamed of themselves.

    What they did invent is their own way of preparing and serving döner kebab, an existing dish that is itself a variation of other existing dishes that came before it. In the kebab world, that’s not only allowed but also basically encouraged. Everyone is welcome to modify dishes to their heart’s desire. There are countless kebab dishes in Turkish cuisine that are nothing more than slight variations on existing dishes. What you should do after creating your own variant, however, is to also give it your own name to mark the difference. That’s what the Germans have not done. They’re continuing to use the name of a dish they did not invent. That’s a bit of a dick move. Seriously, look up Adana kebab and Urfa kebab. They’re essentially the exact same thing except one is hot and the other is not. Yet they have different names, because that’s how it’s done.

    The German döner kebab is a distinctly different thing than the “real” döner kebab. According to the long standing kebab traditions, it must be given its own name. Otherwise no, döner kebab was most certainly not invented in Germany. Name it something else and make a proper claim. It would even help enrich your exceptionally poor and boring cuisine a little bit.