A tortoise? What’s that?

You should check the provenience of your alternatives. Except maybe Vivaldi these aren’t really better.

The difference between linear tv (that your dad watched) and the internet is that there is no alternative to the latter.

person I knew actually had self adjusting headlights, which somehow were damaged and would not adjust properly anymore. They drove around like that for years before retiring the vehicle.

Where was that? In Europe this should have been spotted during the mandatory inspection.

Well I’m trapped in it (purchased software, connected devices). The fence is knee-high at most though.

I’m using both iPhones and Android phones (vanilla and rooted), the only valid point you make is about using themes. I belong to to the 99,9% of users who don’t bother.

You forgot some important feature that Android phones have: They don’t pester you too much about privacy: they allow apps per default to use the GPS, message you, etc. Also they come with a lot of unneeded apps preinstalled, some of these being impossible to deinstall

In Germany even calling the the emergency numbers frivolously is a felony. An ambulance is for emergencies. if you call them because you don’t feel like taking a cab somebody else might die because the ambulance can’t reach them in time. That being said that conservative chud is still a fucking idiot.

Yep, it’s a felony to even call the emergency number frivolously.