Probably the small bob girls are making the bras are don’t want big bobbys to look nice.

Yes! I walked face first into one or two massive webs and they all moved up a bit! So cool and courteous!

I assume the kids have all moved onto Boxcar Racer?

I’ll do you one better: I DON’T MIND CHECKING A GOD DAMN SCHEDULE. HELL, LET’S GET WILD AND MAKE THAT MFER PAPER I LITERALLY DGAF. Cuz I got that dawg in me!

I went to various Christian schools and had one teacher bend me over her knee and paddle me. But I was already taller/bigger than her. So ironic that I ended up liking short women and spanking. Like, what are the odds!?

Then explain why I wet myself?

Earth might go on to start a whole new life in some new place just like my dad.

Not sure I like the sound of that.

Based on how Earth is doing, she might be taking us to the big farm upstate. :(

Not necessarily. I like to think I’m pretty resilient.

That’s called a crepe and they are DELICIOUS.

Not native here, either, but supposedly not a real threat to anything. They’re everywhere here now. Coolest thing I learned is that their babies can “balloon” and fly for up to hundreds of miles on wind currents. And the little tiny baby spider in the web isn’t a baby, it’s the little bitch-ass male. The size difference is insaaaane.

Biblically accurate Moaning Lisa is coming soon! Also it’s to protest oil or whatever.

Same, I had two Joros this year. Their webs are LITERALLY gold, it’s so cool. They really just chill. Imagine my disappointment when both disappeared before the New Year and I learned their lifespans. :(

No⸮

🙄

Exactly. I PROMISE the average reality for these folks is not what you imagine. I’ve seen it, too. But that $4,000/night beach resort was still just on the fucking beach, easy to access with like 3 minutes of walking. They still go out in public, they’re not all being escorted by Secret Service. It almost feels like they’ve succeeded in convincing everyone they’re untouchable when they’re so not.

In lieu of eating them, perhaps we just lightly munch? A small snack?

The likelihood of my eating the spiciest thing I can find for dinner has risen to 100%.

That’s a lucky find for them! Can you imagine if the basis had remained lost!?

Phew, I say, phew!

At the restaurants, just make sure they laugh at you a little when you order. Then you know it’s the good shit.