Honestly, I don’t think the second one is a mess (except punctuation). I think it just conveys - or at least suggests - that something out of the ordinary is happening. It takes mundane things and makes you question them, given the extra attention given to the normal things like a name or place. Sounds like John maybe isn’t his real name and maybe he’s going to this store for something other than groceries.

Go play a very public and dramatic round of disc golf

Wild assertion that these are semi-famous with only just over 4k views on the original post. And on DA in 2021 no less. I’ve seen no name YouTubers with higher subscriber counts.

11. Always err on the side of scepticism when reading things online, especially when those things assert themselves as truth.

Would you kindly answer this yourself?

A man determines his own answers, the parasite seeks forums.

Sins like what though? Do you need the threat of eternal punishment to be a good person or keep from killing someone?

This feels like a personal attack