

That all sucks. To answer your question: decide whether you really have to deal with them forever. In this case, unless I’m missing something significant, it sounds like you could cut your brother and his family out of your life. It sounds like their contributions are exclusively negative, and after going behind you and your mother’s backs with the land thing, you’d be perfectly justified to cut them out.
In short: don’t deal with them.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Sometimes life puts us in a place where we need our family, even if they’re awful.