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It works. Ask how they’re doing. Ask what they did last weekend. Compliment their clothing or whatever. Smile at them like you’re happy to see them. They don’t know what to do half the time and it’s hilarious.

Had to do similar for a micromanager that thought I was lying about my start times. He started calling asking where I was seemingly randomly. Then I saw him driving around one day in the lot swiveling his head around and realized he thought I was clocking in from home. (At the time I’d been occasionally parking about a mile away and hoofing it so my fat ass could get steps in before work. I explained this but he didn’t believe it).

So from then on if I didn’t feel like exercising I’d mark my arrival and hide my car somewhere in the lot behind trailers, a big dumpster, etc. and watch him drive around searching trying to catch me out. Then I’d see him find my car and shake his head. He knew what was up then. He stopped stalking my calendar and me after a couple days of that.

I keep a pile in the freezer in case we lose power again.

I should’ve had my friend pick me up but this was the time before cell phones were ubiquitous. She had sort of cooled off near the end and had given me a mix tape. Thought maybe it was just bad timing. Wasn’t expecting her to go ballistic. Food was good though.

I mean, vegan substitutions for things like chicken I suppose. And yeah, I was completely bewildered the entire time. Even before this she was always semi-hostile in conversations but she always hit me up. It was bizarre.

I said I had never eaten vegan food. She asked if I’d like to try it at her favorite restaurant. She then made a huge deal about me being “only” vegetarian as we ate. Stunned as she went on and on about what a terrible, ignorant person I was, I noticed there was something odd about her front teeth, like they were stained. I didn’t think much of it and tried not to stare. She also kept insisting repeatedly that it wasn’t a date. Ok, that’s fine, I said which only seemed to make her angrier.

We get in the car, and I’m relieved it’s almost over. She looks in the rear view, and starts freaking out that I hadn’t told her she had lipstick on her teeth the entire time. I tried to explain I didn’t know what it was and didn’t want her to be self-conscious. Awkward silence as she drove me home. Next day I noticed she had blocked me on everything. Good riddance I guess.