Tanis Nikana

March of the Dreadnoughts, from Final Fantasy XIII!

https://youtu.be/VZw9O0julsA?si=5CAsmLXxJLI-AmgZ

I think it’s my favorite instrumental piece of music.

Yeah but she’s a garbage human being.

I started out as a quizmaster, telling quiz for a night a week. I’d open my show with a new 45-second bit each week, built audience numbers over time.

Then I realized I’d been doing this for years, and was an incredibly prolific comic! I had enough material I could just walk out onto a stage and just lengthen out my opening bits, cause I no longer had a quiz to tell that night!

“I’m a stand-up comic.”

“Ooh! Heckle me!”

“I don’t know anything about you and don’t wanna say anything mean about you. Just enjoy the moment without getting a performer to do free work for you.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Don’t have to be on all the time, let me eat my burger.”

Yup, there’s three rules about food:

1. Don’t eat what will kill you.
2. Eat stuff that tastes good.
3. Eat stuff that’s good for you.

As long as you never break rule one and only occasionally break rules 2 and 3, you’ll have a good time.

I’ve bought a house, got married, published two books, do stand-up and host a small game show, survived two strokes, transitioned, and have a lot of friends who think I’m tolerable.

I’m a trans woman, so I just keep my head level, pretend I don’t see them, and just walk on by, lest some low-information voter think I’m a child molester and try to get me.

That said, children are absolute trash at paying attention to their destination and their environment, so when they inevitably cross my path in the dumbest possible way, I stop walking until they figure out they should go around me. That way I don’t accidentally kick the tiny knee-high humans.

I was one, once.

I’ve mostly got English and Japanese. English is pretty hard. I’m just a turtle.

英語と日本語が話せる。日本語は簡単だ。亀だけです。

I don’t have any pockets on most of my outfits, but I have a holster on my left hip that holds my phone, my book reader, my wallet, my keys, and a glasses wipe.

I read a lot. But there’s also Slay the Spire on my phone.

(Also I guess I have bluetooth conductors basically permanently attached to my head so I can have music whenever I want, and a d20 ring on one finger, a wrist watch on a wrist, a pair of glasses to match an outfit, a pendant for the same, a hair tie in my hair, and a meter for a study. This is all automatic stuff though, and I just have this while I’m in my house.)

“You mean to tell me this species’ moon is just full of monsters, and it ejaculates them onto the planet in regular intervals? And they don’t really do anything about it?”