• TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    51
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    This thread is an example of why men aren’t dating.

    “I’ve had painful lived experiences and faced unbalanced and unfair expectations, so I’ve decided dating isn’t worth my time right now”

    “You’re an incel”

    It doesn’t really matter what you say, it’s the fact that you said it as a man that will garner disrespect from some regardless.

    • DNS@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      29
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      It’s like us men are immune to trauma and if we bring up any valid concerns or criticism, it’s either we’re incels or homosexual.

      Our society and the double standards we place on ourselves as men or women is absolutely ridiculous.

      It’s incel to think you believe you’re the shit and why isn’t any woman coming to you. That’s incel thought.

      Dealing with depression, lack of job opportunities, isolation among men as society pushes us to keep our emotions on the backburner, etc. aren’t incels, it’s whats happening with men right now. Men have little to no support group compared to women and for that, I am envious.

      As a dad:

      I get weird looks when I’m with my child, am told “doing daddy duty huh” when I’m more involved than his mother, am expected to be stoic, can’t sit at the bench to waych my child play as some other individual will think I’m a creep as I’m a single dad, can’t wear dope/unique patterns due to others perception of it being “flamboyant” while women will compliment other women for what they got on.

      Toxic masculinity is intertwined with incels and it’s absolutely rampant in society.

      • multiplemigs@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        stop caring about what other people think. hard to do sometimes but worth it. wear the bright colors, watch your kids, stand up for yourself and take up your space. fuck haters and people who live in the worried thoughts inside their head.

        • Universal Monk@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          1 day ago

          Society is only getting to be worse.

          Not it’s not. Just stop doomscrolling on Lemmy all day. Actually things are pretty awesome out here in the real world!

          • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 day ago

            You are kidding me, right? You know I can see the prices skyrocket, right? I can see them live.

            America has gone AWOL and is selling random people to slave camps.

            Russia is winning in Ukraine thanks to America’s betrayal, and European cowardice.

            Europe is dumping all of it’s cash into weapons, and being veto-blocked by hungary. That’s less money going to citizens.

            We might have to deal with a USA/RUSSIA alliance againast the world.

            And AI is getting close to being able to improve itself, leading to the singularity replacing us all.

            • Universal Monk@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              1 day ago

              America has gone AWOL and is selling random people to slave camps.

              What?! lol no. Just no.

              And AI is getting close to being able to improve itself, leading to the singularity replacing us all.

              No.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 day ago

      The common denominator in all of this is the fucking internet.

      We didn’t have the internet to give us opinions about men and women before. Most relationships were formed with existing social circles and friend groups. People hung out and had fun and talked to each other until they started getting frisky and then we had babies.

      Now when someone wants to go get it on, they start reading the internet stories and arguments and roleplay issues, and they get tense and worried and then have no idea what to do or say when they’re in the same room with a potential partner.

      We HAVE to kill off the reliance on the internet if we want people to start liking each other again, which I don’t know how to do since we’re only getting more and more locked-in to our isolated routines.

    • xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 day ago

      i’d say incel is when you blame women as a group… basically misogyny….

      i guess, i’ve seen incels blame society as a whole… and have a few valid observations mixed in with a bunch of insane beliefs. i suppose any good cult has that.

      but, if you say dating culture sucks and you’re not playing the game, that’s not incel but is disenfranchised… or disgruntled….

      if you say society has programmed you to need a barbie doll girlfriend/servant and you deserve it and hate everyone, refuse to work on yourself at all, and bitterly polish your gun, that’s incel….

      it’s possible to not fit in mainstream society without being completely antisocial…
      toxic masculinity/machismo is a thing, and it’s reinforced by everyone who’s been indoctrinated… that doesn’t mean every individual is a horrible piece of shit, but it also doesn’t mean you should try to emulate some macho ideal to compete.

      the guy who gets all the interest at the bar is probably not going to be very attractive at the open mic or event feeding homeless people or whatever… everyone is an “alpha” in different situations, human groups overlap, and incel is a direct result of autistic people thinking PUA culture is the base level of society and human interaction….