“Hey. Heeyyyy. Heeeeeeyyyy! Hey slave, where’s my food? Where’s my food slave? Do you not know wtf time it is?? We do this every day. Are you fucking dense? Stupid slave. ‘WeLl YoUrE tHiRtY FiVe MiNuTeS EaRlY’. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!? You should just know! I’m gonna be here eventually. You know this. So why is my food not ready and waiting for me the moment I arrive? Slaavvvveee. Are you listening to me?? Where is my food you useless twat!?”
Cat, winding around and under legs and feet: “hurry up!”
Me: trips over cat, falls and breaks a hip
Cat, eating from fallen bowl: “Finally! But why’s it such a mess? And you almost messed up my fur, flopping down like that. Stop moaning and groaning, I like quiet while I eat.”
Meanwhile my cat:
“Hey. Heeyyyy. Heeeeeeyyyy! Hey slave, where’s my food? Where’s my food slave? Do you not know wtf time it is?? We do this every day. Are you fucking dense? Stupid slave. ‘WeLl YoUrE tHiRtY FiVe MiNuTeS EaRlY’. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!? You should just know! I’m gonna be here eventually. You know this. So why is my food not ready and waiting for me the moment I arrive? Slaavvvveee. Are you listening to me?? Where is my food you useless twat!?”
Cat, winding around and under legs and feet: “hurry up!”
Me: trips over cat, falls and breaks a hip
Cat, eating from fallen bowl: “Finally! But why’s it such a mess? And you almost messed up my fur, flopping down like that. Stop moaning and groaning, I like quiet while I eat.”