Those are not unreasonable preferences
I think the phrasing is the problem. This comes off as overly negative. If you say something more along the lines of “I am not yet ready to have kids, so I’d rather not be with someone who has them. I like women who are in good shape, and I am looking for a long term relationship.” You come off as way less of an incel.
It is not an unknown that a lot of men have no interest in a single mother or raising someone else’s child. Saying that’s at incel level is a silly over exaggeration.
Was she an obese single mom who had met your friend on tinder?
There are more appropriate ways to say this:
"Nobody with kids. I might want kids some day, but I’m not ready yet, and it feels like there would be too much pressure to either be involved with her kids or be cut out of a major portion of her life until we’re really serious. And again, not ready.
And somebody athletic, since I’m into biking and hiking and other activities that require a certain level of fitness.
And… well, somebody who isn’t into the whole casual sex thing, honestly. I think sex is special and, for me, requires a strong emotional connection. I want someone who has similar views on sex."
See, I feel like it changes it when you’re not focusing on the other person, but yourself. I’m not ready for kids, I’m into fitness, I’m a demisexual. It sets up the same thing without disparaging people who aren’t what you’re looking for.
no girls who are on dating apps like Tinder
But why tho?
U tell me
I think it’s 100% reasonable to not want to meet dating app girls
I know a reasonable girl that wouldn’t use Tinder in the intended way, she just made an account to see how many guys in Delhi would swipe right on her when she enabled a VPN to pretend to be in India. (Lots)
Does this count?
Well first these are the frequent talking points of incels when they harp on what they consider “low value females”. If you find yourself constantly repeating such devaluing talking points, maybe a break from the internet would do you good. Secondly, and more generally, it is usually more attractive to talk about the things you love than the things you hate. Unless you have already established that you and the other person hate the same things, then you can bond over that too.
Incels? there are plenty of family men that think this way. They stuck to their preferences and have a much better life for it. We shouldn’t marginalize them for it and give them names that don’t make any sense also being afraid to speak about preferences is not good.
