Some woman I never met told me point blank at the gym that I should pray more. After staring at her in disbelief for ten solid seconds, she told me I had a disability because I had sinned. Obviously.
So I asked her why I should pray a God that disabled me: she told me God loved me and had a plan for me. Tough love I guess. But hey, if there’s a plan…
Then I asked her if my limbs would grow back if I prayed enough: no she said, but it’s not too late to let Jesus into my life.
Well that made total sense. I’m off to church then…
If you (ExtremeDullard) are an amputee then I have some bad news for you.
God hates you.
Think about it: god made the deaf hear, the blind see, the mute speak, the lame walk, the possessed clean, cured leprosy, made prostitutes saints and raised the dead.
But not one single amputee in the history of humanity has ever regrown a limb.
Ergo, god hates amputees.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
I’ve told people prayer is a lack of faith, that you believe your god made the wrong decisions in their plan for someone and are now giving god advice on how to correct their mistake.
Prayer (or at least praying for anything) is honestly the most arrogant thing anyone can do. It presupposes the existence of omniscient and omnipotent being, typically one with a grand plan and endless love.
Then you’re asking them to change all of that just because you fucking asked them to.
Removed by mod
I have had many people over the years tell me without any kind of prompting that “I need Jesus.”
“Yes,” is my stock response. “I know I’m fresh out. I’ll pick up some more at the store on the way home.”
It usually gets them out of my face.
“Don’t you have time for our lord and saviour?”
“I still haven’t finished reading the Times, I’ll drop by them when I’m done”
Do you prefer your Jesus to be fried or sauteed?
I’ll have to reuse that one 🙂
Ask her “would you pray to me if I disabled you? It’s all part of my plan for you!”
