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salty_chief@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 个月前

Mellencamp

lemmy.world

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Mellencamp

lemmy.world

salty_chief@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 个月前
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  • Allero@lemmy.today
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    2 个月前

    Keep it in mind: every time you take a shit, you’re essentially reverse dildoing your ass. Very homo.

    • MTK@lemmy.world
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      2 个月前

      Umm, reverse homo, so super straight actually.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
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        2 个月前

        Sucking dick is then always hetero, because it goes in on the other side, so kinda reversed too?

        • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world
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          2 个月前

          Sucking dick is always okay

          • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca
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            2 个月前

            Can you imagine if they homies weren’t cool with a little BJ now and again?!

    • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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      2 个月前

      Wiping your ass is especially gay

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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        2 个月前

        I read a story where a guy didnt wipe ass cause it makes you gay. He let it dry out and “handle itself”. I was really hoping he was pro-bidet…

        • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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          2 个月前

          That makes my ass itch just reading it

  • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    This has happened to me before.

    • Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com
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      2 个月前

      Nothing to debate here with a username like that. Just smile and nod as I skip to the next post…

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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        2 个月前

        <rolls up the window and clicks on the door locks while smiling so hard a tear comes out>

  • kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 个月前

    I… is this a real thing??

    • Atomic@sh.itjust.works
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      2 个月前

      I have no idea. And I’d rather not find out either. Nothing good will come from trying to find out.

      • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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        2 个月前

        A little good might come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • RustyShackleford@literature.cafe
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      2 个月前

      Technically it’s possible, but the likelihood of it ever happening to someone is about as good as you finding a leprechaun’s pot of gold.

      • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
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        2 个月前

        Hah, jokes on you, that has happened to me

        I found a pot of gold

        • RustyShackleford@literature.cafe
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          2 个月前

        • Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world
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          2 个月前

          I just found pot then lost all motivation to keep looking.

          Funny memes go ha ha

      • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world
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        2 个月前

        Sounds like you underestimate the power of opiate-based constipation. I’ve heard from addicts of this happening enough that I just assumed it would only happen to someone that severely constipated.

    • scoobford@lemmy.zip
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      2 个月前

      Yes. It hasn’t happened to me, but I had a close call once.

      One of many things I will not be discussing with my therapist.

      • Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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        2 个月前

        “Let’s go back to the time you had that life altering turd splooge. How do you think this affected your relationship with your father?”

    • tacosanonymous@mander.xyz
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      2 个月前

      Yes.

    • CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works
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      2 个月前

      Im curious too but i know there’s a 0% chance of getting a straight answer here in the comments.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
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      2 个月前

      I sure hope so.

  • Rob Bos@lemmy.ca
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    2 个月前

    Y’all need some fibre

  • classic@fedia.io
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    2 个月前

    Lots of TIL in this one

  • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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    2 个月前

    that one guy on Quora’s quest to shit cum and piss at the same time is actually possible. Who knew

    • Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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      2 个月前

      The unholy trinity…

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    What? No matter how bad a diet I’ve had this has never been a thing.

    • Apocalypteroid@lemmy.org
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      2 个月前

      Try harder

  • Random_Character_A@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    Sitting here doom scrolling lemmy and waiting for my first mellencamp.

  • LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz
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    2 个月前

    I can almost feel the definition of mellencamp replacing a childhood memory in my brain.

  • Zdvarko@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    So aah for science what diet would um assist in this happening?

    • Nightwatch Admin@feddit.nl
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      2 个月前

      As a plant eater I hate to say this but a pure meat diet (absolutely nothing else) will do this to you, it’ll be a once-a-week (or so) ass ripping constipation dump with the best chances for your eh… fulfilment.

      • PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca
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        2 个月前

        I had a UTI recently (thanks to the diabeetus) and for some reason I got constipated as a side effect. Can confirm, 3 days backup was enough to trigger this interesting event.

      • jet@hackertalks.com
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        2 个月前

        As a pure meat eater, i have some bad news, carnivore poops are regular, small, and without any constipation.

    • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world
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      2 个月前

      Ignore any other advice and do heroin. The post-constipation dump is the only way I thought this happened to people lol

  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    If you ever have to take a dump outside, away from a toilet, this can happen more easily. At least it’s easier to notice. Happens to me nearly every time I have to do so. I work way out in the field, so often enough. Probably happens at the toilet more often than you think. You just have it tucked so piss stays in the bowl.

    • IndolentRoshi@lemmy.world
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      2 个月前

      But ejaculate’s not piss?

      • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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        Yeah, but you probably don’t notice the ejaculate because you piss too.

        • CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works
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          2 个月前

          You think guys don’t notice getting a sudden erection or feeling an orgasm? There’s more to it than just having cum come out of your dick.

          • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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            It doesn’t require an erection, and it never felt like an orgasm to me. Just the same momentary prostate stimulation you feel when you shit.

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    I thought it would be called a Mellencamp cause of his shit music.

    I swear I am gonna jam a microphone down that man’s throat if I have to hear “small town” one more damn time. You can’t just rhyme small town with small town, stop saying small town!!

    • Stamau123@lemmy.world
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      Yeah that had to be the worst, most repetitive song I’ve heard on the radio, and that’s saying something

  • then_three_more@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    Careful, you might summon the Wanky Shit Demon by mistake

  • sandwich.make(bathing_in_bismuth)@sh.itjust.works
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    2 个月前

    Everyone here with pre signs of colon/prostate cancer. Not saying it can’t happen but man, every male gets to deal with prostate cancer at some point in their life (most grow old without it ever being noticeable, but its still thete.)

  • devfuuu@lemmy.world
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    2 个月前

    Nothing like suffering from the ass destroyer ripping you apart while stimulating the prostate and getting that sweet weird boner.

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