I know staying up past bedtime is illegal but I did it once to check and fortnite was in fact off 😔
Truly terrible news
Easiest way to do this: Turn the modem off after bed time (you will also lose internet)
Most expensive but still easy way to do this: Buy a “smart router” with time-based parental controls (lets you use the internet at night).
Nerd way to do this: Pihole with a script that enables and disables certain blocklists at certain times (free and open source, because fuck “smart” products)
Most expensive: Buy a controlling share of Epic
The Elon Musk method: Buy some shit for no reason with only the attempt to ruin it because, idk, oligarchy or some shit.
Cheaper alternative: flash existing router with DD-WRT or OpenWRT and access advanced features for free.
And possibly get a damn nice router for not much money.
Sent via my Xiaomi AX6S
A true nerd has at least one spare raspberry pi laying around. Or just an old box they can throw Linux on.
Yeah, but as a true nerd i wont be using my old pi 3 to do that.
The poor bastard is strugling to keep home assintant alive. Better buy a new router WRT compatible.
The cheapst way is this: Don’t lie to your children. Take responsibility for your choices. Talk to your children and explain why an adult needs to make responsible choices.
I agree with all of this… Might cost you some time and fights depending on how poorly you did raising the kid to this age though… But now this kid is going to go into school adamant that the game can’t be played at night… You’ve set him up for serious ridicule because you’re too lazy to parent well
It provides enrichment for the kids, as they figure out how to get past it.
As a nerd, I don’t expect my parental control settings to work forever. They’re more there to prevent childish naivete from getting them into trouble, they probably won’t stop dedicated teen horniness. And I won’t even be mad, figuring out how to get around them requires learning more about how technology works.
Just a good ole lag switch
I like this one. The Internet still works after 9pm but you’re reduced to 56k speeds. After 10pm it goes to 28.8k. After 11pm: 2400 baud.
That’s hilarious, but I was picturing the classic ethernet cord wired to a light switch
I mean, mom could be right. Maybe there’s a rule on router to block Fortnite servers after 21:00. She just doesn’t tell that she the one turning it off
Yep, that’s what I heard. They also do overnight backups so it needs downtime, kind of like people.
timezones:
I love that part of the internet.
Kinda like “guy code”
“Was said he was with you last night”
"Yep, all night. Cleaned the spark plugs in my car and drained the blinker fluid. Couldn’t have done it without him "
But instead it’s “parent code”
“Yeah fortnight is closed. They close it so everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be ready for the morning!”
I was going to tell a personal story about telling my son McDonald’s was closed when I was broke or in a hurry but it reminded me of another cute store.
My son broke his arm in a McDonald’s once. Hyper extended his elbow. Got a couple pins.
Anyway a year or so later they completely remodeled that McDonald’s.
We drove by the demolished building during the remodel and my son shouted “that’s what you get for breaking my arm! Who’s broken now!”
Adorable vengeance served adorably cold.
How did you explain how McDobalds knows when you’re broke or in a hurry?
Your son has ice in his veins. I’m very impressed.
One day he will rule, I hope he lets us live.
Just FYI that cleaning spark plugs is actually a thing. Not common but sometimes they can get ‘fouled’ from things like oil or incorrect air/fuel mixtures.
Depending on the engine and whether or not you use double iridium-platinum triple splitfire plugs, once you go through all the work of taking them out, no sense in putting the same ones back in.
Sure wink and oddly enough spark plug cleaner smells a lot like perfume wink
I got you bro.
Presumably they shut if off for 14 days, hence the name.
Thats gotta be it
Oh man, if my kids start fact-checking I’ll have a lot of explaining to do.
Found J.D. Vance’s account
I don’t know who that is, but somehow I know if I did know, I wouldn’t like this
I envy your world, free of American politics.
Yes, basking in blissful ignorance
Well, soon we’ll know whether you’ll have to find out.
I don’t think the entire world is required to know about American politics… only the western counties suffers from American influence
It’s not like the US manufacturers anything anymore, and Hollywood has forgotten how to make movies
It’s like you don’t even try to export your culture anymore, when I was a kid everyone watched Sesame Street, now all the kids in all the English speaking world are watching Bluey
Boy do I have bad news for you …
😢
I suspected anyone speaking English will be impacted in some way or at the very least hear about who won. Their influence and media spreads far.
This reminds me when my mom told my dad Netflix didn’t serve their area because she didn’t want another bill.
He told me that and I was like “Well…” and my mom just yelled from the other room “I JUST CALLED THEY’RE TRYING FOR NEXT YEAR.” so I shut up.
Lol. Thats hilarious.
Problem is that it’s regional. So even of you watch a big streamer, they are before 9pm so the game still works.
actually if a streamer is every streaming fortnite past 9pm, they’ve secretly prerecorded the stream as an alibi
All big streamers are time travelers. They stream from the times when the game works so that people who were too late to play can still watch
they’re all on planes that fly around the world, constantly experiencing 8pm
they login through 7 proxies to be time lords. hence origin of time cube you can’t deny the logic.
Till You KNOW 4 Simultaneous Days Rotate In Same 24 Hours Of Earth You Don’t Deserve To Live On Earth
This is why we trust but verify. Thanks mom for teaching me that cruel lesson of unplugging the phone cord to get me to bed (dial up days). It lasted about a week before I caught on you always came up from the basement before bed.
I’m so glad you never noticed I swapped my line with the guest bedroom. Also glad that ancient block in the basement could be hand wired.
Ah the eternal arms race between parents and children. For me it was lights out so I couldn’t read, circumvented with a flashlight under the blanket.
My sister got told off regularly for reading after lights out
As adults my mother told me that after they found books for me I liked they pretended to never notice the light leaking through my doona, they were just happy to see I was reading
for me it was logging into the router webpage, getting my parents mac and ip addresses, and cloning them after they turned off their devices and my Internet for the night lol
You need enough sleep.
Part of being an adult is never getting enough sleep and almost always being tired.
That’s “parent” not “adult”
I with no kids at home have excellent sleep
Teens are the ones (after new mothers) who suffer the most, with natural sleep cycles starting around midnight or in the early morning and wake times in the late morning or early afternoon, but school schedules that force them to be active at school from 9am
Sure, but I’m assuming the “mom” in OP’s story was just trying to help their child get enough sleep.
It’s right there in the name, it shuts off for the night.
