Have you tried therapy? Judging by the comments in here, you sound depressed. And not without reason! Therapy can really help.

OP - from the responses you’ve given to many of the replies, it feels like you’ve lost faith in mankind. As many of us do feel time to time or even all the time. If you haven’t tried, try to walk into a church that’s left it’s doors open for people to walk in whenever (instead of attending a service/ mass, etc.). If you wanted to, you could probably even walk up to someone who works at the church and tell them your frustrations. Usually a church with open doors have a welcoming air.

At worst, it’s another crapshoot. At best, you might find something uniquely different.

I’m not lonely but I have really enjoyed mastering fudge. Maybe try that. Remember, don’t go past 114 and resist the urge to stir.

Walk around & enjoy the view & play video-games & talk to people like you (not meant as an insult)

Hey fam! I’m not doing anything on christmas day, and @friendless@lemmy.blahaj.zone had a post today where they said they didn’t have anything that day either.

How about on christmas day all of us get together on a post somewhere and talk! You know, we can just chat like we’re at a party or something?! We can post images and song links and… I dunno… type out song lyrics and complete each other’s sentences and stuff?

Maybe we can make it a megathread on a community like… hm…

• !casualconversation@lemm.ee - I suggest this one
• !general@lemmy.world
• !actual_discussion@lemmy.ca
• !casualuk@feddit.uk

what do ya say?!?

Same way I do every other day, play horror games, fuck around on my computer and cry. With you on the alcohol and porn too. I should switch to Playboy.

Edit: Also learning Esperanto, it’s good to keep your mind active. Learning a language can help. I also have an irrational or maybe rational fear of developing dementia. Gotta workout your brain.

I just work a lot and I don’t have enough downtime to let the depression sink in.

For myself. I drove to a cold rocky beach, ate turkey sandwiches alone, and screamed at the ocean. It became a tradition.

Learn to celebrate .

If it’s your bag, looking into faith communities to for Christmas. You can celebrate the holiday for the religious reason. Decorate and find events, like public tree lighting.

For new years there are usually big public countdowns somewhere. If you can ‘get into it’ just going to an event can help you enjoy it. Get a hat and a noise maker.

It’s going to be up to you to figure make your own excitement and enjoyment for the holidays.

Valentines day sucks for everyone. Just Yikes.

Look for social media event spaces, meetup.com helped me find stuff decades ago.

Read up on stoicism as well as absurdism if your not a religious kind of person. They aren’t answers but can help you find the right questions.

My girlfriend and my mom hate each other for no reason. I’m going to spend the holidays with my girlfriend because… Well y’all get it. Right?

I’m just saying I’m not lonely… But at what cost! AT WHAT COST!

Your worth as a person isn’t measured by your ability to find a romantic companion

You are simply a person, people of the alternate gender are simply people. There is no magic transition that happens when you find a relationship, people are depressed in and out of love.

My recommendation is to find community, leave the house, look for public events, join board game nights, pick up a hobby like pottery or biking or a specific video game, get really into something and enjoy your platonic time with people who also enjoy that thing.

Platonic relationships have just as much value as romantic relationships.

It sounds silly, but you could try volunteering. I grew up with just my mom and we didn’t have much $. She used to spend part of Thanksgiving and/or Christmas working at a ‘soup kitchen’. Making the time better for other people can make it better for you too. Also, you might meet other single people.

Not lonely anymore, but I spent about 10 years having every single holiday by myself. What worked for me personally was either ignore the holiday or just have an all-out bash on my own. I understand how it might not work for other people but celebrating on my own helped me learn that I should value my own time and appreciate what I can do for myself. If I ignored the holiday, it was because I didn’t want to cook for myself.

There’s no problem being alone as long as you value and appreciate what you can do alone.

Now with that being said, I spend the majority of my time with my wife now and she respects my time and space the way it is. I wouldn’t have been able to find that if I didn’t first respect myself and my own time and space

Find a passion that isn’t porn, or alcohol, irrespective of the season. Since (I assume) you have time off, use it to find something else to try and get good at. Such as improving your strength and endurance at the gym, learning a new language, starting a new project, taking up a new instrument, read a history book or any book, etc., going to a new place, learning to cook a new kind of meal, etc. etc.

I’ve been depressed…hell I still am, though I cope better than I used to.

I’m guessing its not just the holidays that gets you down. There’s two ways out, and I suggest doing both.

1. Conform to some of the social norms that basically means take some of the classic advice you’ve already seen on here. Get out of the house and participate in activities that you might not initially enjoy, but hold some promise of you at least getting a bit of enjoyment out of, or at least stick around for the socializing. Think of it like taking your vitamins, you don’t have to like it, but its probably good for you and therefore you should consider doing it.

2. Find things you enjoy doing in your solitude that are nondestructive/neutral or even healthy (depends on the context if its avoidance/addiction or not). Listen to podcasts, read books, learn a new skill, listen to music, meditate, exercise, etc. Just something. We can give you ideas all day, but just choose something and stick with it for at least a couple weeks before trying something else.

The harsh truth is that without some kind of existential raison d’etre, life is just a series of activities we use to distract ourselves from our own loneliness or avoiding ruminating on other topics like death.

The world right now has made it hard for people of all walks of life to connect authentically, and so don’t blame yourself entirely for the situation you’re in. That said, when you’re down in the shit, there’s only two choices, you either wallow in it or you clean yourself up and do what you can to make your way up and out of it.

And I hold no judgments on what you or anyone decides to do here, life is hard and yeah, it can suck. But I personally look at it that I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But I already know what it’s like being damned if I don’t… might as well find out what it’s like being damned if I do.

Take it or leave it, that’s all I’ve got for you or anybody. Good luck out there.

Talk to my therapist and try to do something that helps people or animals.