• RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
    8·
    6 hours ago

    She can’t run for shit, I’d bet. She wasn’t running anywhere except to her side piece’s house. Point was to be away, the excuse was the 5k.

  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk
    82·
    2 days ago

    Why would OP’s wife not just sign herself up if she was going to run? Or realise something was off when her partner told her that they’d done it for her. “Hello, I’d like to sign my wife up for this run. Oh no, I won’t be participating myself.” Feels kind of weird. But this a 4chan post so can’t possibly be fake or gay.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      7 hours ago

      Fake: OP can barely get from the chair to the bathroom, no way they’re running anywhere.

      Gay: OP’s “wife” is a their regular pizza delivery person, which is a dude. The friendly banter at the door got weird quick.

  • Bojack411@lemmy.world
    20718·
    2 days ago

    Im sure his side of the story isn’t warped to make himself seem like a saint and her a bitch. 👍

  • McLoud@lemm.ee
    1505·
    2 days ago

    She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.

    • superduperpirate@lemmy.worldEnglish
      34·
      2 days ago

      Because I’m procrastinating at work:

      How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?

      Estimates:

      • average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
      • average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)

      Calculations

      • thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
      • coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus

      So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.

      Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.

    • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
      114·
      2 days ago

      This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn’t I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.

        • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
          56·
          2 days ago

          He was very honest and upfront with me about how he was in love with my wife and wanted to be with her. Props to him, I guess. I’m definitely better off! My ex was incredibly demanding and controlling. Sometimes I think I’d thank the guy if I ever saw him again!

          • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
            11·
            2 days ago

            It’s kinda funny how cheaters don’t realize that their affair partners that know about their main relationship can easily sabotage it by just being open and honest. They can force the cheater’s hand at any time and in many cases even remove the other option.

            If any affair partners that want a relationship are reading this, discretely inform their partner of what’s going on. You’ll either get what you want or the cheater will be forced to reveal that they don’t actually intend to leave their partner for you and are just leading you on. Their partner finds out what a snake they are with, too, so it’s a win for everyone other than the cheater, though even they might feel better once the dust has settled and they don’t need to hide their activities–until the next one, at least.

            • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
              35·
              2 days ago

              We didn’t want children and she purchased the shared house by giving me her life savings which I used as a downpayment for my own house. Thankfully it was an easy split!

      • snooggums@lemmy.worldEnglish
        14·
        2 days ago

        Odds are high that is it fake but it is absolutely based on a true story. Might have been a husband wanting to do a 5k or a canoe trip or something else instead of a wife, but I’ve known plenty of people who get pissy when their significant other wants to ‘intrude’ on their hobby.

    • LouNeko@lemmy.world
      63·
      2 days ago

      A: People who never experienced it fear loneliness more than they fear death.

      B: People change over time, the person you married might not be the same person in 10 years.

    • MNByChoice@midwest.social
      32·
      2 days ago

      Apparently, a lot.

      It is weird interacting with those couples too. Sometimes they just play a role with their spouse and have to get away from them to be themselves.

      They are as miserable as it sounds.

    • spacecadet@lemm.ee
      16101·
      2 days ago

      Women are shitty communicators. I tell my wife this all the time. Just because you are talking doesn’t mean you are communicating. Men created TCP, women created UDP network protocols.

      Communication requires two parties to understand and come to a consensus, most women are making announcements, not communicating.

      Also, women tend to think they are more emotionally mature than men, but are generally significantly stunted in their emotional development. Flip the script, how do you think his wife would have reacted if he called her fat and then talked about a 5k then cried and threw a fit when she signed up? Most men would have been happy and excited, but most men wouldn’t have also gotten past calling their wife fat without a divorce.

      Edit: lol the white knighting here is crazy. You all will never get laid. Hopefully your wife’s boyfriends are at least having a good time.